A letter to my son "Lautaro"

We meet on this day 10 years ago, but my heart was already loving you even before your conception.

I will never forget that day, 10 years ago. You my son, the most amazing and beautiful 9lb 2oz that I

ever hold.

I will never forget that day, 10 years ago. When I hold you for the very first time.Words no always say what
the heart really feel, but you and me, my son. We share a language that only us can understand. We speak with love.

I will never forget that day, 10 years ago. Your smell, still live in my nose. Your soft cry, asking for the
comfort of my breast. Your eyes wide open looking right at me, trying to explore this new world.

I will never forget that day, 10 years ago. When you make me understand, the really mean of life it self.
When you teach me, that I'm so important that God chose me as your mom. Even if many night I ask my
self if I deserve this beautiful gift.

I will never forget that day, 10 years ago. When I became your mom, you became my life.


Lauty as you grow, you will notice that life isn't perfect, that people isn't perfect, and I'm not perfect.
That's ok  because we no need to be perfect, we just need to try our best in this life.

As your mom I can't promise you that I will not make mistakes, because I already make a lot of mistakes.
That's ok, mistakes are good for people that's help us learn.

I can't promise that you never get hurt, even if I would give my life for you, some times is not in my

hands. But I do promise you to help you find ways to heal.

I can't give you a perfect family, with no fights, no drama and always happy faces. But I can teach you
understand our feelings and help you deal with us.

I can't guarantee that you will succeed in life, you must face a lot of obstacle, like all the people do. You must
find your on way to succeed, but I guarantee that you will have my support, encourage and all the tolls to
fly on your own.

Happy Brithday Lauty, I love you...
MAMA <3

Remembering 9/11

It has been 10 years since Sept. 11, 2001
Like most people I'm sure that I will have that day in my mind for ever.

I didn't born in this country, I didn't lived my childhood here, but I love this country as an adopted child love his parent.
We can't chose the family were we born, but we do chose our friends, our love and were we want to be. I chose America, this is the land were I start my family, were my kids born. The land were I feel that I belong. Even if I still need to improved my English. I love this country, his culture and his people.

I can't forget the land who saw me grow, but here is were I belong now. I respect, love and feel his pain as an American.

I love this country even  before I moved here and here is a little story:

"I remember, it was almost 14 years ago or so. It was the world cup for soccer, and Argentina love soccer. The principal at my school let us paint our faces and were our teem t-shirt on game days.
Next Monday it was USA VS hmm? I'm not sure, but I show up with the USA flag painted on my cheeks. OMG I make a big revolution at school, and the bigining of more to came.
I was send to satation, but next day it was alot of kids with faces painting with flags of diferents countries, and we make a flash mub. That was the day I realize I will be an activists..."


I don't know what make me love USA, maybe was "the nanny" , "step by step" or " the Simpson" who I grow up with. Before I know it, I was saying good bye to my friends and family.


I came here on March 2001 and  I was 3 months pregnant with Lauty. WOW Miami was even more beautiful in person. Everything amassed me the beach , the parks, the malls, etc. Everything was so beautiful.
Months go by, I was taking care of one nice who at that moments was 9 months old, my mom start working right away.
 It was hard, I was along all day, no friends and pregnant.


September 3th 2001~ my due date nothing was happening. My mom take me to the park 2 times a day to help with labor, but nothing, just a couple of contractions here and there.

September 7th 2001~ OB-GYN app, he check me I was 1cm dilated. he say call me on Monday if nothing happen before I will indus you on Tuesday Sep 11.

September 10th 2001~ Monday was here but my mom has to cover a shift. She ask me if I can call the Dr and ask him to hold on my induction until wensday. I was sick of everyone trying to deside when my child should born, so I call and make and app for friday September 14th, that way I will have more time and let labor start on his own. That night I whent down and up of the apartment stirs like carzy, at 11pm finaly I start feeling some contractions. I was so extited.  Whent to bed at 1am and try to sleep as much as posible " if labor has started I will need the energy".

September 11th 2001~  This day stay in mine mind like if was yesterday! I wake up at 8:55, I always reach for my remote control even before open my eyes. Turn on the tv in front of my bed, I was home along, my mom went to work at 7am. It was 9:00 when I finaly open my eyes, "whats going on? is this a movie? 9:03 I saw the second plane crashed into the South Tower... I couldn't belived my eyes, is this realy happen? finaly I saw that word on the top of the scren "live".

My contractions stop, "in what kind of world I bringing this child to". The news was everywere, and everyone was scare. I can't take from my mind the imagen of that people jumping from the towers...and keep thinking!

That day a mother lost his child, a child lost his father, a wife lost her love, a husband lost her best friend,  and this country has pain in his heart. I do too.
Watching the planes hit the towers, was the most heart breaking thing i could ever watch.

I was scared to go out, at that moment I was glad that my labor has stoped. I didn't know if we were safe.


September 14th 2001~ I keep my app, life must go on and this child can't be inside me for ever, he was 2 weeks over due.

Finaly September 15th my son "Lautaro" was born, it take us 5 months to leve the house. He wasent on my womb any more, how Im going to protect him?

One day an old men saw my 5 months old son and say " he is a special boy, he has the strength, he maybe a president one day"
The men was drunk, I think, but his words still on my head untill today. I don't know what he will became when he grow up, But what I do know is that I will teach him and his siblins to love the world, to make love insted of word. I can't change the world, I only wish for a better one for generations to came.

My heart goes out all of the families of the victims, all the heros who losses their live trying to safe others.


And thanks to the everybody that helped, all those who became heros. Thanks to them i have found that my faith and love to america is strong than ever.  Thanks again for our 9-11 heros.

Teen and young mom 100 likes giveaway!!! thanks to Mommy Jewelry Sturdy and Purdy

Who don't like Giveaways right? Well thanks to Jeemma owner of Mommy Jewelry Sturdy and Purdy who is donated a  Nursing Necklace  I have the oportunity to thanks the mommys who fallow us on facebook.

 Happy Baby All Wood Teething Ring, Nursing Necklace

This all natural organic maple teething ring measures 2 1/2 inches. The textured wooden bead is about 3/4 inch. The teething ring and the wooden beads are all finished with Certified Organic Flaxseed oil but if you would like them unfinished, please leave me a message in the note to the seller during the check out. Beeswax is available as well. It is safe for your little one to chomp on. The 100 percent 2 mm cotton cord is extremely durable. The necklace is adjustable up to 28 inches with a Sliding Knot.

It is very durable and is made for baby wearing moms, caregivers, or anyone who cares for young ones with busy hands. It is also a great baby shower gift.

I have one my self and Thomy-tomato and I love it, I wear glasses so this necklace is great to keep my chunky monkey hands busy.

Jeemma is a work at home mom, she create this wonderful jewelry with love. She has a great good adorable jewelry in her etsy store "mylilmarket" . Thomy- tomato love his amber necklace, is cute, look good and I get my happy baby again.

Want to win this beautiful Mama necklace?

Here are the rules:

1. like us on facebook Teen and Young Mom and leave a comment on the wall telling us what do you want to win this Nursing Necklace.
2. like Mommy Jewelry Sturdy and Purdy facebook page and say that teen and young mom send you
3. for extra chance tell your friend to came and like us on facebook and if they leave a comment telling me that you send them your name will appear 2 times in the raffle, also you friend has a chance to win.
4. The winner will be announce on Teen and Young Mom August 29th 2011
5. **The Giveaway is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with, Facebook®**
6.  Open to US only :)
   
   Good look

My kids are the proved that I'm a good mom

I was preparing a post about breastfeeding in celebration of breastfeeding week, but if I don't take this out of my mind I not going to be able to sleep tonight. Why because I think too much.

The day start was great, after a full night of great sleep (thomy-tomato slept from 7pm to 6:30am waking up to breastfeed only one time) I was looking forward for a great day. It was my chuncky monkey 1/2 b-day, and while having a coffe at the same time that I was pumping because my  breast was so engorged, I was writing a post on teen and young mom letting everyone know that today is a great day we are celebrating 6
months of my little one life and 6 months of exclusive breastfeeding.

After posting some cute pics on facebook of my son I recived a masege from a great mom telling me that she is coming today to pick up the breastmilk that I have for her. She has a big trip 3 hrs to get here and 3 hrs back home, she was coming with her kids so we plan a little play date. In my way to meet her my mom call me asking me if I want to came over her house so she can see the kids, I say sure I be there around 2 pm, ok great she say.

I when to meet this awesome mommy, We had a great time, the kids play together and we get to know each other talking about cloth diapers, teething necklace and baby legs. My best part was when we nurse our babies together.

I was having a great day, the kids wanted some milkshakes so we past to a chik fil a on our way to may mom's house, I call my hubby who was finishing with our lawn to came and meet us there.and

here come the reason on this post, the reason that change my day and make me realize how right I am in my resolution  on moving far away from my relatives.

I get there and my olders kids get the car as faster as they can to run to the front door, I was taking my 6 months old from his car seat when I here my grandpa, who lives there with my mom, yelling to my kids in a very bad way because they take to long on closing the door and koki (my moms dog) run outside. At that moment I hear this voice again telling me " take your kids and leave" I hear that little voice so many times before and I always regret for not listening to her, any one was in this situation when a internal voice try to save you and you don't listen to her? OMG I never listen to that voice, why? I don't get it, why I don't listen?


Any way once  inside my grandpa was cleanig the floor with a very moody mood and as soon as I cross the door he give me all the complains about how miserable his life is, that he dosen't have a job, that he is taking care of my mom kids and how bad behaved are they.I just listen to him and say Hi how are you boys to my little brothers, they are 5 and 4years old.

Then my grandma finally ask me how I was doing. I smile and say " great I just camefrom a little play date with this great mom who came to pick up the breastmilk that was in my frezeer, it was like 300oz" I didn't finish to say that and here's what he say to me yelling in a very high voice:

grandpa: I don't get it, you are so stupid. Why you need to help that woman, she is not your family, she even give you any gift or money in compensation for your milk. You are so f#@%$ stupid.

me: I do it because I like to help, is nothing wrong on help people and I no need anything  for doing this. In fact she is helping me get rid of so much extra milk any way. And you're telling me to help the family? yeah because the family help me, I help the family so many times and they even say thank u in fact they judge me or worse they call me stupid like you right now. This amazing woman say thank you to me and she give me a hug, and I was in need of that hug. SO in my point of view I give her something that she needs and she give me something that I need.


Grandpa: well people like you never have nothing, a hug don't pay bills, she needs to compensate you with something, you have your husband working and you are so lazy in the house,at least you can make money with that, nobody think in a so much stupid way like you.One thing is help the family and other think is help a extraiger for free that, look at your mom I have to help her with the kids and clean the house so she can go to collage.

me: (at this point my blood was boiling but I try my best to hold my tears) I help my mom all my life, even if she never help me. I take care of my brothers even when I was sick so she can go party with her new boyfriend. I pass all my pregnancy consoling her and helping her with her divorse, I went to court with my premature baby 5 days after my c-section. She leave me the kids so she can go shopping with her new bf (other one) 7 days after my c-section.And I did this and so much more without waiting for recompensa from her, I did this bc I love her. But gets what when she start changing from man to man and this behaibors start confusing my kids...

he cut what I was saying...

grandpa: well kids no need to interfere with grownups life,and your mom has the right to do with her life what she want, and she no need to care what you or your kids think, you're the one who need to teach those kids in no put their nouses in other person life.

me: No not really bc is a thin line between do werever you wnat with your life and bother or perjudiciar other peaples life,and when you are a parent, is may be your life but you need to think in your kids first becouse any any decision you make can affect their life too. My mom already made my childhood miserable he make a lot of mistake who even cost my health. I want my kids away from that. So when I call her the day before mother's day and I found out that she sleep with her ex  housband, the one who abuse physiological, the same one who make she cry in my sholder asking for me to came defend her,even with my pregnant belly I step in front of him a prevent that he hit my mom. She was sleeping in the same bed with him, and when I tell her that enough is enough, she tell me "is my life you can tell me waht you do" you know how I feel? I feel used by her.

Then he started talking about how wrong I was in my parenting style, that I hold my kids too much, that I need to let them cry blablabla. My family think that I'm wrong,for wear my kids in my moby wrap all the time, for breastfeed, for co-sleep, for not let them cry.


When I was almost a steep out of the house because I was unable to hold my tears, my hubby came in, and in second my grandpa transform in a sweet pea, offer my hubby something to drink and they start talking to each other about the weather. I was WTH? inside I wanted to run in my hubbys arms and tell him was just happend here.

He was pretending that nothing happened,  I did as well with my eye holding the tears. My little one wake up and it was time to breastfeed him so I just take a deep breath, a glass of cold milk and try to forget what just has happened here.

After nursing my son, I start checking the mail (I have my mom house as a mailing address after some mail was lost in my house) I found a letter from my son school who came at my 9 years old name, I open the letter and the tears that I was trying to hold came out faster than ever, but this time there were tears of joy, tears that came from my proud mama's heart.

That later proved to me one more time that I'm doing a great job, that I have amazing kids and they deserve a better family, a family who cares for each other and love each other. at that moment I convince myself that I'm making the right decision on moving my family far awey, that I need to teach different values I can't repeat all those things that my family believes as a right way to rise kids.We need to be just my hubby, kiddos and my self. we no need any one else.

What that letter say change my day for the better, what that letter say put a smile in my face again. What that letter say make me realize that what really matters is my little family and no bady else.

It say :" Your son achieved the higher score on the FCAT test for math and reading.Your child is eligible to enroll in a virtual middle school course. your child will receive middle school credits. "



My 9 years old has a 6.8 level in math and 5.9 level in reading and he just finish 3rd grade. You know what this mean to me? I'm writing this and Im just can't stop crying tears of joy. I no have words to explain how proud I am to be his mom, is in day like today when I realize that God had a plan on me getting pregnat at 16, it wasn't a mistake, because when I look at him I know that he is amazing, and is my son and that's make me amazing, it doesn't matter that my family think I'm stupid, or that I do everything wrong. Because when I look at my children I feel proud of my self.

 
And you know what? if been a good person who is willing to help others,  means that I'm stupid, if raise my kids the way I'm raising them means that I'm stupid, Well so I'm happy to be so stupid. in fact I prefer to be stupid all my life and no make the same mistakes that my family make with me.

To finish this I like to say, that the reason that I'm hearing this is because when people like Amber from teen mom, ( just to give an example that maybe all know) do that kind of stuff like say bad words  infront of her child or fight with her partner, or let her boyfriend change her daughter diapers and she think that is no causing a long term damage or worse to her child. They are wrong, my mom was wrong and it take time to heal.

What is sad is this kind parenting style like cry it out,  spanked for being naughty  or no hold your child because they think that is spoiling them. Is wrong,  kids need love, kids need to be spoiled, they grow to fast and they learn to be secure and confident when you respond to her cry, or when you wear them and when you kiss them.

if you have question about cry it out check out this great post

the no-cry it out solution
co-sleeping
cry it out couses brian damage

Stories that inspires us "My Breastfeeding Story" Cecillia Story.

My son was born on Thursday July 21, 2011. Right after he was born, he was placed on my chest and immediately starting rooting around for my breast. He latched on easily and I thought breastfeeding was going to come naturally to us. However, the next day I started to experience a lot of pain while breastfeeding. I met with 3 lactation consultants and they all helped me with latching him on properly. Despite a proper latch, I still experienced constant pain in my nipples. They became so cracked, bloody, and sore that I had to resort to formula feeding. The following Monday I met with another lactation consultant and she asked me to try breastfeeding while she was there. Within 5 minutes, I was in so much pain that I was close to tears. We stopped breastfeeding and she took a look at my nipples. To my surprise, she suggested something that not even my doctor had suggested. She brought up that my nipples looked very short and that part of the problem might be that they aren't stretching when my son sucks on them to reach back to where they need to be. She then took out a nipple shield and asked me to try breastfeeding with that on. So after fumbling to put it on and learning how it works, I took my son to my breast and latched him on. Instantly I felt a huge difference while using the shield. There was NO pain at all and my son was eagerly sucking and swallowing my milk with no trouble at all. It's now been a week since I've gotten the nipple shield and I have since been exclusively breastfeeding my son. It took a lot of determination to get through those first few days and to continue to strive to breastfeeding, but I'm so glad that I did not give up on something I wanted so much. He is now above his birth weight and doing so well. So much so that my doctor has mentioned using the nipple shield long term as long as no problems come up. It is not how I ideally wanted breastfeeding to go, but I'm so thankful that I can give my son something so beneficial despite how it has to happen.

I hope my story can inspire other young moms to not give up on breastfeeding so quickly. To many of us, it is something we have to work at and try different things to make it work, but the end result is all the same :)



Thanks so much Cecillia for share your story with us and you  proved that we can succeed and overcome any booby trap.


great pages to find breastfeeding support:

http://theleakyboob.com/ 
kellymom
Dr. Sears
La Leche League
Peaceful Parenting
Aunt lactivist

how do you feel or react when other parent discipline your child?

I know we all tend to be protective over our kids but the fact remains, if a parent sees other kids misbehave and their actions may put their own children in harms way, then they should step in and take charge of the situation. I was on that situation too, when a boy hit one of my son and the mom not discipline her child, it can be frustrated. But  "What gives anyone the right to yell at my child?" "Let me be the one to tell my child 'no.' I don't think it's right at all."its very confusing right? Even more when I know that my child is not doing anything bad.
If a parent is watch their kids then there shouldn't be a reason for other mom to step in. But with that being said there are way to many parents that just sit back and gab with their friends and have no idea what their kid is doing, who is not my case, even with 4 boys I make sure I have my eyes on everyone. So this is very complicated in both sides of the story.


Yesterday we were at our local kiddie pool, and my kids were playing with other boy with a beach ball. One of the kids throw the ball and accidentally hit a other mom who was with her  2 years old daughter. The woman turn to my 7years old (Nacho), she say that he is too big to play there, in fact she talk to him like if he was 12years old instead of 7. I didn't say anything to her this time because my son respond to her very well, in fact I'm very proud of him, he say "sorry mam, it was an accident, I didn't throw that ball but I was playing too, I will make sure this no happen again we apologize"The woman just put a grumpy face and walk away.
Nacho at 11 months with me

 Even that I love how my polite son respond to her,  I feel like mad, because he is always receives a bad look because of his size, I mean he is a big boy weight 9lb 12oz at birth, and son of a big men and well I'm not short neither, exclusive breastfeed  until he wean at 3 years old he was always a big boy, at 1 year old he
weight 40lb, at 5 years old he was at 70lb, he is now 7years old  56in and 115lb Nacho looks big and rude but he is a sweet pie, and very kind with the little ones, he is always helping others, especially his baby brother Thomy-tomato.
.

 I feel bad for him, people always judge him  by his appearance. When he was little I always jump on his defend, but now he is teaching me how his wonderful personality can change any
bad situation. Other moms at the kiddie pool were impressed on how sweet and gentle he really is
with little kids.
Nacho yesterday, holding Thomy-tomato

 He always make me proud, he can be sweet and funny, Nacho came to my life to make us learn from him and appreciate every moment. He sometimes can be a clown, sometimes can be a teacher, a guardian or even a little daddy for his younger siblings. He is always helping me, in fact, if wasn't for him I wouldn't wear shoes
while pregnant with Tomy-tomato.
Nacho helping me to put my shoes on when I was pregnant.

Love you Nacho-man, please never change you're my sweet pie son
Nacho making us pee in our pants pretending he is pregnant.

Surviving the criticism and society

I'm just tired of criticism, I been face criticism my entire life. Not only for been a teen mom, for everything I do. Its looks like it was never be enough  to make my family proud of me.


Some days ago, one person wrote in Teen and young mom facebook wall(http://www.facebook.com/Teen.Young.Mom),  that we just ruined our lives. I deleted the post because I want that Teen and young mom be a safe place for us to share our experience, and support each other "criticism free" . And because I believe that motherhood is something beautiful and deserve our respect. A child not ruined his mother life, a child came to our life to give us strength and love. In my case my son saved me, my boys are the reason for me to stand in this life.

I'm not saying that been a teen/young mom is the best, in fact is a hard work, instead of going out with your friends, dedicated to school, sports etc. You need to grow up fast and put your self away, and give up important part of childhood.

But that doesn't mean you ruined your life, you just living your life different.
society  tell us that perfect life is :

1- finish your career
2-get married ( if you are lucky enough to find time between career and work)
3- buy a house, travel around the world etc
4- then have a baby

Sound perfect right? well all of us growing up with this in mind, even my self. But life is not that easy, you have obstacles to face. People need to make mistakes, that's the only way that the human will learn, some will make less mistake than others but at the end all will make mistakes.

Well society teach us that we need to be perfect to be accepted, that we need to do what they expect us to do to have a great life. But what happened when you don't do it in the order that the others want it? let me tell you the answer, they criticize you, some or a very few will give you encourage or support, but most people will be really rude and judge you

I face that all my life, when I was a little girl all that I wanted is make my mom proud.  But she never say anything encourage to me, she never help me or ask for my homework, she never had time to check with my  teachers .I'm not judging her, she was a teen mom and her life wasn't easy.

 When I start sports (jockey) I wanted to be the best, soon I realized that no one in my family care about my jockey practice, so I give up. Months later they tell me that I was lazy  because I wasn't doing anything, so I start ice skating, soon I found out how good I was, I even won a trophy. A year later my mom say she can't take me to my practice because she was too busy.

Between the age of 7 to 15 I did jockey, ice skating, ballet, swimming, soccer, volleyball, drama, painting, music, etc. For one reason or other I have to give it up, and every time I did, my family say that I was lazy and I can't committed, "you never finish what you start" they say.

Soon I understood that I can't make them happy, what I need is find my own happiness. So I believed that I will never will be something in this life, my grades start  to go down, I lose interest in everything, I start smoking in fact I was lost. My life didn't matter any more so I was going to ruin it.

When I turn 15 well I get pregnant, you can read my pregnancy story here http://mylifeasateen-youngmom.blogspot.com/2011/06/it-was-january-1st-2001-after-celebrate.html?spref=fb .

 

It was hard at 16 have a son, work, study and please my family. My mom was starting a new relationship and as usual I was left out, so I focus in my studies and my son, who at that point became the most important reason to succeed.

Now I no have to make my family happy, I no need they to be proud of me. The most important opinion in my life is in my son. He is the one that one day have to be proud of me, he is the one who matters now, he was my little family.

My son give me the strength and the power of believe in my self. He was the reason to push my self to success. I don't know how my life will be if a wasn't pregnant at 16, maybe I would had a good career, may be not,  provably not.

Thinking back on how was my experience in school, and everything I was trying to do (jockey, soccer, ballet, etc) and how I give up everything because I felt that no body care, it was a good chance that I wouldn't succeed.

I think that all that happen to us in this life is for a reason, maybe it wasn't the best
that I had my son at 16, but thanks to that I'm the person who I'm today, thanks to
that I finish what I start, thanks to my son I not give up any more. I have a reason
why stay in this life.

I have a career, I get married, I buy a house, and I have good vacations, I'm not a millionaire but I can not complain. But maybe I couldn't have all this today if I didn't had my son at 16. And for sure I couldn't have the great life that I have today if my boys were not here today.

"Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It's about understanding that he is exactly the person he is supposed to be. And that, if you're lucky, he just might be the teacher that turns you into the person you are supposed to be." -- Joan Ryan